I guess the best way to start is to tell you about my life. may be boring but i hope it helps you to understand why i'm asking for help. I came from a big family no father 10 brothers-n-sisters we did'nt have much sometimes just had one meal a day our mother always made sure it was supper because she never wanted us to go to bed hungery. Well i guess i did'nt like living that way so i quite school in the seventh grade lied about my age and got a job stuffing advertiments in papers and did other odd jobs to make money. I got married to my first husband when i was 17 moved out and when i started feeling better about my life i asked my husband if i could go back to school the he said no! Two years later i was expecting our first child and when she was six months later i was expecting our in the mean time i would take any job i could get because i had no education to get any well paying job. Three years later had my second daughter and three years after her had my third daughter and then made sure i could not have any more. we where always being evicted because my first husband was a heavy drinker and got in to drugs. well i told him he had to choise me and the kids or drinking and doing drugs so he left i was working at bar at the time but just did not bring in anothe money to make it so i lost everthing and was homless for awile theres where i meet my secound husband that is also a alcohlic and does drugs but thank god my kids never seen it my kids are all grown now i'm 49 years old now i lost my job can't seem to get a job nowhere and my husband tells me he does'nt love me any more i have been abused by these two men for a very long time. Shit i wish he would hit me then at least i can fight back mental abuse scars never go away. so any way i'm asking for any kind of help so i can get out of here my selfesteam is low that i don't want to leave the house. but he calls me a loser and saids i will never get out like he wants me to because i'm too stupid. well just help me get the chance to prove him wrong
